Monday, January 26, 2015

Primitive Amputations

Primitive furniture, correcting uneven legs, humor
On a cool, sunny day in the middle of December, the primitive amputations began.

Patients formed a line down the driveway as Chucks set up a sawing station.

I set up a cleaning and sanding station.

And the amputations of uneven limbs proceeded at quite a fast clip.

The discarded body parts littered the yard.

The saved limbs were straight and sturdy.

Recovering from surgery and preparing for the cleaning and sanding.

After a thorough waxing, the patients relaxed in the sun.

Showing off their glowing patina.

The healthy, happy group made the journey to Booth W-10, Riverfront Antique Mall, North Augusta, SC.

Chucks and I are not real doctors.

We just play one on blogs.

See y'all!

NOTE:  I updated my coupon code for my Etsy shop.  I was embarrassed to find out my coupons had expired.  There are new listings for you to browse.  Enjoy!

Use this discount code to receive 10% off your purchase at the Distressed Donna Etsy store:



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  1. lol. All your patients look so much better after their surgeries. Love all the different depths of turquoise.

  2. You guys are furniture doctors! Love, love, love primitive pieces like these.

  3. The patients look really nice! :)

  4. I have a piece that also needs some trimming. Do you use a regular wood saw ? Another question, Donna.... When you have a piece made of scrap wood, and there isn't a good solid paint job on it, if it's dirty, how do you clean it ? I mean, deep dirt, into the crevices and holes of old wood.... not something you can just dust off with an old t-shirt. Would appreciate any hints you can give me. Thank you!

  5. You're too funny. Love the rustic looks!

  6. Gosh, does anyone remember the commercial that started that saying: "I'm not a doctor, but I play one on TV." Chad Everett said it, but I have no idea what the commercial was for. If anyone remembers, I'm standing by. Oops! I could have sworn it was Everett, but it was the actor, Peter Bergman, who played Dr. Cliff Warner (who married Nina 4 times, and divorced her 3) on All My Children. (Geez, I remember him, too! not that I watched All My Children faithfully for all those years!) The commercial was for the Vicks Formula 44 cough syrup advertising campaign in 1986. Gotta love Wikipedia!

  7. You are so funny! I love how the patients look now and their patina is perfection!

  8. I wish that's all I needed to look and feel better!!! They all look great!

  9. Your patients are so lucky you knew they could have an other life!

  10. Loving those colors and surgeries turned out great!
    Keep on having fun!

  11. Such a fun post Donna! And, what cute patients you have! Love the turquoise color in the first photo. Have a great week!

  12. Nice job Donna and Chucks. You guys worked wonders on those (patients) tables.
    They should sell fast in your shop ... perfect sizes and aging. Glad you are having fun and the hope the dental work has healed and you can now open your mouth.
    Such a fun post too.
    Audrey Z.

  13. So fun! Your "patients" look fabulous! Blessings, Cecilia

  14. Those patients were in good hands...medical miracles!....I am taking note of your antique booth...and will stop in the next time I am in Augusta!

  15. Too funny! I hope your patients all find good homes and live a long and happy life. Thanks for sharing at Vintage Inspiration Party.

  16. What a great post, love your patients.

  17. Love your new patients! Their patina is great!

  18. I loved this post! Your patients did so well after the surgeries. Thanks for this, it made my day.


  19. Bwahahahaaa! I'm plowing through unread emails and this title made me smile! So you! Your patients seem to have recovered quite nicely and are better off for their visit to your surgical clinic!

  20. Don't you love it when you can give new life to your patients? Love that wonderful patina! Thanks for sharing with SYC.

  21. Great pieces. Sometimes they just need a little love and SURGERY.


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